A most exciting day...

Will and I set a goal today.

My weight is out of control right now. I weighed myself yesterday and I was at 385. The number, despite my best thoughts about weight loss, just keeps going up. I say thoughts because my actions have not aligned with my mirage-like goal.

My goal is to lose 200lbs in 18 months. That is about 11 lbs a month. When I hit my goal... We can get engaged. I am ecstatic about the thought. My heart is exploding in my chest with want. Both of those things would really make a huge difference in my life.

That will give him time to work out whatever emotional baggage he needs to. That will give me time to work out the literal fat baggage.

I can't believe how out of control my weight has gotten. I weighed 330 when I moved here on 8/5/2014. In a year I have gained 50lbs. It seems that the bigger I get, the faster it packs on. All that aside (there will be plenty of time to hash out the gory details along the journey), I've got some planning to do.

Tools for Successful Weight Loss... 

- calorie tracker.
- getting rid of the sugary shit (see: ice cream, halloween candy and bread).
- accountability and statistic tracking (see: this blog).  

The Structure... 

- Wednesday Weigh ins.
- Tues/Thurs swim class with AJ.
- Saturday meal planning and pre-enter it all into the calorie tracker so I just need to make adjustments.
- Sunday cook-a-thons (see: chicken breasts over salad, pre-bagged veg, nut and cheese snacks). 

Bad Habits... 

- netflix binges.
- coming home and not being active.
- Sitting for too long at work - take real 10 minute breaks and walk around the building or something.

There are definitely more bad habits to address such as broken patterns in thinking, attitude towards health and fitness, my relationship with food. But for the most part, kicking the laziness is going to be a good step in the right direction.

I have tried blogging to get back on track so many times before and it's failed repeatedly. That's why I'm not inviting anyone to this blog. No one I know. This needs to be my quiet effort. So I can be honest about my shortcomings and very frank about my struggles without hurting anyone's feelings. At minimum I would like to update this every Wednesday morning before Will gets out of bed and I get that angst about not getting anything done with my day... turn it into a good productive record taking time. If I can update it more frequently, well then I certainly win, don't I!?

XO,
N